I came to the US mostly because of my curiosity: I wanted to see the world! Also, I wanted to leave my over-protective parents. I had no idea where North Carolina was or anything about it. I was too young to realize how many challenges and changes would be in the future.

Together with other 20 Chinese students, I started my adventure on August 8, 2000, which is regarded as a auspicious day in China. After 16 hours flight, I was so surprised to find trees and trees and trees again. "Where are the skyscrapers?" "Don't they say it is the capital city???" Nothing in Raleigh matched any of my imagination of the US: streets packed with weird dressed crowds, tall buildings everywhere that belong to world famous corporations, and occasional gun fights in the public. What is wrong? It is so quiet and peaceful here!

I didn't see a single person walking along streets on my way from the airport to my temporary place. It was really a warm hug from the landlord Judy who wore shining red nail polish, huge rings and sweet vanilla perfume: "Honey..Yes, honey. Oh, sweetie." I should say the dessert was as sweet as her greeting if not more: I could hardly eat.

There were surprises every day: water fountains are conveniently located everywhere on campus; people politely hold the door for the following person; people dress really casual; tanning is such a fashion in this country which makes me and other female newcomers from Asia look weird to walk with our specially designed sun umbrella; things are bigger: chair, hamburger, hanger and people; I found jogger in the middle of night; people here speak with a very strong accent; when sneezing, one is supposed to say "excuse me" and respond "thank you" to "Bless you!"-so complicated; no matter what, I am supposed to say "fine" to "how are you doing?" even though I felt really uncomfortable. It is usual for females to hold hands in China, but this is a label of being a lesbian here-I had some really embarrassing moments. I am allowed to call almost everyone by their first name . I observed and learned. I was like a newborn baby coming to a totally new world!

The exciting exploration came to a sharp stop when school started. I had trouble adjusting myself to a different way of teaching. My English was not enough at all. I spent most of my time on homework and projects. I had to get up at 7 to catch the school bus and usually got back at 1am. I spent so much time in the lab that I got sick of the smell there. At the same time, since I had never lived on my own, I had a hard time learning how to take care of myself from zero: cooking, laundry, scheduling my time, budgeting my spending.every detail in life. I became more and more overwhelmed by school and life and was under high pressure. My daily life had become a mess and I put on so much weight that I had to get rid of my old clothes and get a new size! My irregular schedule and lack of exercise and unbalanced eating habits finally made me sick. I started to hate this place. I cried over the phone to my friends in China: I wanted to go home. It was truly a terrible and horrible time. The transition was a nightmare.

Gradually, I overcome the difficulties and started to like it here. My GPA gets better and better. I made friends from different countries through school and social events. I did some travel around the east coast. I started to appreciate my decision to come here. I became independent. I get lots of chances to know different people and different cultures, which I will never have if I just stay with my parents. This is the experience which will affect me lifelong and to remember forever.

On Feeling Not Fully American

I have very few American friends, partly I guess, because some people are not friendly and cannot accept my skin color especially in this part of US (in lab, white students just simply ignore us and never bother to talk to us or do projects with us); partly because of the culture background. Whenever I find myself with a group of American, I feel out of place because most of the topics are over my head, like sports, weddings or just simple idioms they use. When I took a social dance class, two white guys in the class refused to dance with me all the time (everyone had to change partners every time) and that really hurts me.