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Episode #2004
Future Black Men
Lewis: Mitchell Lewis, Host
Sellars: Daron Sellars, Vice-president of 100 Black Men of the Triad
McKenzie: Darryl X McKenzie, Author of Black, White and Easy
Medley: Antoine Medley, President of Future Black Men of America Inc.
Lewis: In response to the often discouraging statistics reflecting the plight of young black men, mentoring has been offered as a strategy for reversing downward trends. There are mentoring programs fresh and new, tried and true. But what are the building blocks of an effective mentoring program? We'll talk to men mentoring on both ends of the spectrum next on Black Issues Forum.
[THEME MUSIC]
Lewis: Good evening and welcome to Black Issues Form. I'm Mitchell Lewis. It seems with every passing year there are new studies conducted that reveal grim statistics and the life, behavior and welfare of African American men. Reports say African American men are over represented among the un- and under-employed, the incarcerated and those living with HIV AIDS but under-represented among homeowners, job holders, high school graduates and wealth creators. There are many strategies for addressing this issue; one solution is mentoring programs. There are also many mentoring programs and opportunities through churches, civic groups and otherwise. Yet we've all heard the statistics. Where's the return on the investment on time? Why are young black men sitting on waiting lists hoping to be matched with a black male mentor? And why do some mentoring programs succeed where others fail? Tonight's panels of guests are here to help us answer these questions and more. I'd like to introduce first Daron Sellars, Vice-president of 100 Black Men of the Triad. Also, Antoine Medley, President of Future Black Men of America Inc. And Darrel X McKenzie, author of Black, White and Easy. And to the three of you, welcome to Black Issues Forum. Daron, I'll start off with you. Now, we hear about so many groups that have created organizations so that African Americans can have a sense of belonging. Why do you say that's there's a need to develop an organization to specifically mentor young African American men, or young children?
Sellars: Okay, first of all the 100 Black Men of America, and we're the 100 Black Men of the Triad, but the 100 Black Men of America as a whole feels that the organization-we needed to kind of close the gap on some of the issues evolving to young black children. Not just males but males and females and some of the things that we do because every chapter is different. But what the Triad chapter does is we have programs called Project Impact. And the Project Impact is where we have kids that we mentor on Saturdays, at the YMCA of Greensboro. And we've felt like it was an opportunity to work with some of the youth in the area because of some of the social and economic issues that are going on in today's society and in the school systems. So those are some of the reasons why we wanted to. And not that the 100 is exclusive just for mentoring because we focus on health, wellness, education and economic development as well.
Lewis: Antoine, why did you feel that there was such a need?
Medley: The need was there because young black boys are missing out on having positive black men in their lives. In some instances that's the case. Some instances it's just the parents feel like maybe their son needs to be around other types of men that may be in the home. You may have uncles living in the home that really aren't doing too much so mothers are feeling well maybe I need my son to get involved with some other organizations that have black men who are doing things in society, being positive in their community. So I think they need to be exposed to a more positive side of black men contributing back to the community.
Lewis: Darrell, your thoughts. Why such a need? Is it really necessary?
McKenzie: It's very much a necessity in this society because the numbers speak for themselves with the dropout rates being what they are. The number of incarcerations, the single home families, single parent families. Black males are pretty much-and I hate to use this term-but they're pretty much an endangered species, at least positive black males. So whenever our children can get any help possible, that's a benefit to society as a whole, not just the child as an individual.
Lewis: Antoine, I'll ask you this-and gentlemen feel free to jump in at any time-because of these mentoring programs, is it giving the impression that perhaps African American families have somewhat lost the ability to mentor within their own families?
Medley: I don't think we've lost the ability, but I think with economics, the way things are in our country, we have, like you mentioned earlier, we have more unemployed black men here than we do in the other demographic. So by that being the case, we have a lot of black men that are not in the homes because they're out looking for work. We have the highest incarceration rate so those black men aren't there. We have the highest number of HIV victims. Those men aren't there. So we look at those three things and there are a lot more, there are a lot of black men who are really pulled out the picture. So by being pulled out of the picture, other black men have to step up to help these kids, help the young girls, and from what I'm looking at helping the young boys. Because helping the young boys, to me, in turn will make a better world for our young girls.
Lewis: Darrell, any thoughts on that?
McKenzie: Well, I agree exactly with what he said. And I'd also add that when you look at the way this society operates, it's pretty much of an individualistic society. The way the economy is driven and the way everything is taught to us is pretty much every man for himself. So what that has done is that has eroded the foundation of the black family. So you have parents who are so consumed with doing what they have to do to succeed that in some cases they're not just neglecting their children, but their children aren't necessarily getting what they should have. I think any organization or any individual that does something to at least help educate someone or just be a big brother or a friend to someone would be a benefit.
Lewis: Now, Daron, and you're sort of nodding intently there. Anything you'd like to add?
Sellars: I agree with Bill. I think it goes back to the family, the society, especially single family homes. A lot of times the mother is left to raise the children, do the job, and all the things that go along with that. But I also thing that they don't sit together as a family and have dinner anymore so there's.it's kind of changed the way it was in yesteryears. So there's not a lot of family time there. That gap has increased because there's not a lot of family time there. And then a lot of times a male role model in the home will just leave the children to themselves from where they have challenges and they don't have anyone to go to because mom has to work sometimes two or three jobs just to support the family.
Lewis: Now Darrel you have experienced a situation up North as well as the South; is there any type of difference?
McKenzie: No. Poverty is the same everywhere. Racism is the same everywhere and single parent homes are the same everywhere. We're all suffering as a result of all of these things. It doesn't really matter where you are geographically. When it comes to black people because historically black people have been community based sector in any society, whether it's in Africa or wherever you're located. That's one of the things that has eroded here in the States because as I said, we're so consumed with our individual goals and issues that we've become less focused on the community as a whole and so consumed with what's only taking place in our immediate area.
Lewis: Antoine, you have just started your organization not too long ago. With all these other types of mentoring programs, what was the driving force behind you starting your mentoring program?
Medley: My mentoring program, really-I don't look at any particular demographic. Some organizations do, some don't. I don't look at any particular demographic and say I'm going to go after young boys that are living in single family homes, I am going to go after impoverished kids. My group is open to any child. I have a little boy in my group now who lives in a two-family home, two-person home, both parents are there and they still chose for him to come out. So we don't go after any one particular demographic. We're here to help kids. We're here to help expose the children to things they might not normally get exposed to, positive things because those little things can usually change their lives.
Lewis: Positive things and all three of you are about this and I'll start with you, Daron, in your approach to trying to get kids involved in mentoring or having mentors for these kids, what is your approach in trying to sort of mold them in the right direction?
Sellars: Great question because in the 100, we have a different approach. The approach is called mentoring the 100 way. It's a series we've done for other non-profits, such as the American Cancer Society and other organizations, but the approach is that you don't have to be inclusive in the 100 to mentor. Do the mentoring with the 100. It can be females, it can be males, it can be anyone. We really like to stress that the approach is where we have different men that have different walks of life and different professional backgrounds that way they can have sort of a diverse background because a child doesn't want to hear from an attorney all the time or from a doctor, he wants to hear from someone who maybe works in manufacturing a s a mentor. Our approach is not to point fingers or say why don't you do this, or do that, but to give them a diverse background of different people in the organization that can do the mentoring-but mentoring the 100 way.
Lewis Antoine, when you're meeting with your group, what is your approach because sometimes with kids you can't do the preaching to them type mode. What is your approach?
Medley: One of the things we stress a lot is we want to listen to the kids. We want to get the kids to open up, tell us what they're seeing because it's important for us to know what they're thinking. It's really hard for us to attack some of the problems they're having without us really knowing what they're going through. We hold sessions with them. We do different activities with them but a lot of times, for instance our last session, we had some of the kids put together as a panel. You had one child who's the governor of North Carolina. One the mayor of Raleigh, mayor of Cary and we had them tell us what they would do to make the educational system different and many things came out of that.
Lewis: Darrell, you've written a book, Black, White, and Easy. Tell us how does that book relate to mentoring?
McKenzie: Easy is a 53 year old black man, he's custodian at a local oil refinery up in Pennsylvania. Everyday after work he goes to the park and he sits at the same bench every day and he befriends a younger college educated young man. During the course of the summer Easy tells this man funny stories about racism, sex, violence, poverty, the things we normally experience in the poorer black communities. During the whole time this young man is laughing at Easy's stories, Easy's educating him on the effects and, well, he's educating him on black existence, period. So that's how he's becoming a mentor to this young man. What that really shows is it doesn't really matter what your walk of life is. Anyone with a positive message can be a mentor to someone.
Lewis: Is there any example or particular chapter that comes to mind in this book?
McKenzie: There are quite a few chapters. The book is made up of a series of short stories. There's one chapter, for example, Easy wants to get across to this young man how it's important to understand the impact of young unwed parents and the impact they have on their children's lives. Easy tells this young man a story about how his girlfriend's sister has a child out of wedlock at a very early age and she and her boyfriend break up very early in the relationship. Meanwhile, the parents struggle back and forth arguing with each other, caring little about this little child. What it comes down to is the mother is pretty much using the child as leverage to control the father. Also as a way of her financial support through the welfare system and through child support. She's only being self-centered and concerned about herself in doing this and the father's doing his part as well but in the long run, as Easy points out, that the child is the one that really suffers as a result of all this. And that's the lesson that Easy tries to get across to his young friend.
Lewis: Daron, we've been talking about mentors and mentoring. How does your organization go about selecting mentors? Is there a specific criteria you're looking for?
Sellars: Definitely, the 100, likes to look at he person's background. In today's society you have to be very careful in letting just anyone mentor. We do a criminal background check and we like to know that you're not a pedophile or anything of that nature. But basically it's through the process of what I said earlier is through the mentoring 100 way which is a series of phases that you train that we normally go into the homes or into different organizations and teach the mentor the 100 way so there's not really a certain selection as much as it's trying to include everyone without having a high risk of people trying to mentor who may not have the best qualifications to be around children.
Lewis: Antoine, what are some of the things you look for?
Medley: We look for people that like being around kids. That's the most important thing. It's hard to be a mentor if you don't get along well with children so we look for that. Some of our members have children, some don't. Some are married, some are single. We're looking for people who can have a good rapport with children and who really have it in their heart to do this because I think it takes a special person to want to help some children that you don't even know.
Lewis: Darrell, one thing I hadn't mentioned is that you're also part of a mentoring program that is with North Carolina Department of Transportation. I'm curious as to what is that program all about?
McKenzie: This program is, we developed a mentoring program that pretty much mentors new black males to the DOT organization. So as a new male comes to work for DOT, if he's interested in being a member or a participant in our program then we'll assign him a mentor, someone to take him under his wing to be a friend to him, a guide to him and we also we meet once a months as a whole where everyone comes together, we fellowship with each other. We bring in lecturers; we bring in people to educate us and to talk to us about various things. It's all about building a bond, creating a bond that will benefit everyone.
Lewis: With all of these organizations you have Big Brothers, Big Sisters, Boys and Girls Club, I'll ask you first, Daron, do you have a problem with waiting lists?
Sellars: Not really because the way we do our mentoring is group mentoring so there's not really a need to wait. We meet on Saturdays at the Y and with the college tours and all the things we do on Saturdays they can just join in and sometimes we break off into clusters but no, we don't have a problem with a waiting list.
Lewis: Why do you think that because in some cases there are awaiting lists with some of these other organizations? I hate to put you on the spot, Antoine, but why is that?
Medley: The on group I've heard the most about waiting lists is with the Big Brother program. I've been working closely with that program and they do have waiting lists and most of the people that are waiting are young black boys and the problem is that we need to figure out a formula to get more black men involved. I think every organization here in the United States and the world that's doing this type of work; we need to find a formula to bring more black men out. I think that's the cause of the waiting list.
Lewis: We've been talking about African American men getting involved in mentoring and it has been touched on a little bit but are there women involved in some of these mentoring programs?
Sellars: In my particular program, no. Our program has been in existence for a year. It was considered a pilot program because of some specific problems that DOT was having. They decided to focus on a black male first. There are programs for women and other groups so to speak but our group is focused on the black men. We do have a woman who is coordinator of our project. She's been very instrumental in our success so we're not exclusive in that aspect but we do realize that there's a need a direct focus on the main point
Lewis: Antoine, Daron, as far as your organizations involved and is it important to have women involved?
Medley: We don't have women involved in the mentoring process but I do have two African American sisters on the Board of Directors because there are some things that we as men, we miss and we need that female aspect. So from our Board level, yes, we do have women involvement but as far as down the ground mentoring, right now, no. It's all men mentoring boys.
Sellars: Yes, I agree with him. There are no women in the process but there are a lot of chapters and we're starting to integrate into that because there are some things that we can't talk to young women about that we need the black mentor women to come in and help with that so we're looking into that now.
McKenzie: I don't thing there's anything wrong with having a specific target group that you like to work with. It's great sometimes that they want to work together to do something. But it's also beneficial if sometimes we can get together as a group of men within certain age range, certain women with certain characteristics. Sometimes you can benefit that way because there's a certain comfort level that comes with that as well. As the gentlemen said earlier, what happens a lot of times, we have a lot of things in common with each other and people are more willing to be more open, free with what they say and a little bit more understanding with what the person's going through as well.
Lewis: Since you've said that, what are some of the issues you all are hearing about through these young people?
McKenzie: I think as far as young people are concerned, I think young people are pretty much just confused right now as far as which way we really need to go in society and it's not their fault. It's what we fed them. Or what we haven't fed them, so to speak. But the issues are pretty much the same issues that we all have. This is money driven society so that's number one on everyone's list. We need to find ways to communicate with people in matters of money, teach them economics, the importance of being able to handle your finances and do the right things. We need to concentrate on things like teenage pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases and things along those lines and education is a premium.
Lewis: As far as people who may want to get involved in mentoring or be a part of your programs and I'll ask all three of you, I'll start with Daron, where can they get in contact with you?
Sellars: They can call our office at 336-272-4355 or they can go to www.100blackmentriad.org and they get information on how to mentor there.
Lewis: Antoine?
Medley: Same thing. They can contact me at 919-210-3516 and they can also go to our website which is www.Futureblackmen.org
Lewis: Darrell?
McKenzie: Our program is DOT based mentoring program so that's pretty much restricted to DOT employees but you can contact me or find out more about my book by going to www.darrelx.com
Lewis: Antoine, I'll ask you this question, if someone is interested in trying to start a mentoring program, what advice would you have for them?
Medley: Make sure your passion, make sure this is really your passion because there are some hurdles involved. It does take a lot of faith to step out there and do this. That's one of the challenges I've had over a couple of years that's been on my mind but until I really put my feet on the street and did it. Just have the passion and realize that you're not out there by yourself. There are brothers who want to do the same thing, they're just can't find an avenue to do it. Just be that avenue for them.
Lewis: Daron, any advice?
Sellars: Commitment. Dedication. You have to have those two because the module is so impersonal you can't decide okay I don' think I want to mentor anymore because the kid doesn't understand so dedication and commitment.
Lewis: Darrell?
McKenzie: I agree with them exactly. The biggest thing you have to be concerned about, not just about yourself but everyone in general, be willing to give of yourself, whether it's 30 minutes a week or three hours of a month. Whatever you can give is very important. Every little bit helps.
Lewis: I have my final question and I'll start with you, Daron. What does it take to be a mentor and mold a child in a way that you'd want them to reach their full potential?
Sellars: All the things we've talked about. The dedication and the commitment and to really understand the child and to understand it is a constant commitment that you have to do and to understand that when you leave the commitment, there's an understanding that the child understands how to continue to go on their own. A lot of times with the children, they get attached to the mentor so understand the solo parts of that.
Lewis: Antoine?
Medley: Understand that it's going to take some time. You can't come into this thinking, okay, I'm going to mentor this child and he's going to listen to me and you can't tell them what to do. It takes time. Be open. Have an open heart.
Lewis: Unfortunately, we have to stop here. Thank you so much gentlemen for your help and continued success to you. If you'd like to learn more about the work of our guests or obtain a transcript of our show visit us online at unctv.org/bif or call us at 919-549-7167.
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