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For those wondering about how to talk about the attack on the United States on Tuesday, September 11, with your children, here are some ideas from Karen DeBord:

With the airwaves filled with talk and images of disaster following the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and Pentagon, children need to hear reassuring words from their parents and other adults.

So says Dr. Karen DeBord, a child development specialist with the North Carolina Cooperative Extension Service at NC State University. DeBord says that while children may not be willing to talk about what's on their minds, they may show signs of stress, including difficulty sleeping, aggression and hyperactive behavior.

She offers these pointers for parents on helping children in the wake of the recent disasters:

• Deal first with your own feelings. Allow yourself to feel anger, grief and disbelief, but don't make major changes in your life. Instead, talk with friends, exercise and get plenty of sleep.
• Reassure children of their safety. Try to be more available to them than usual, and work with spouses, significant others, relatives and friends to figure out ways to help children feel safe and secure.
• Let them know that you are there if they need to talk. They may know more about the disasters than you think. Still, they may not fully understand what it all means. If they ask something you aren't prepared for, tell them you will think about it and get back to them in a few minutes.
• Let them know that adults are still strong and in control.
• Return to a normal routine as soon as possible.
• Recognize that while children need to understand what's going on, hearing too much talk or watching too much TV coverage can be stressful. "Children can handle hearing small doses of adult fear, but not an overload," DeBord said. "While it's important to keep in tune with media alerts, don't leave the TV on so much that it creates more worry in your children."
• Help young children use creative outlets like art, puppetry, stories and music to express their feelings. Through play, young children find ways to open up about their reactions.
• Help older children reduce stress by taking action. They can write letters to others about their feelings, get involved in an organization working to prevent events like the one they are dealing with, or send money to help.

Consider your family safety plan. It's a good time to review basic disaster preparedness.

Depending on your spiritual belief system, consider quiet, close family meditation or prayer time. Such practices can bring a feeling of calm when events don't make sense.

DeBord has three fact sheets on the Web that may be useful for dealing with children's stress. A sheet about recognizing stress is at http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/humandev/disas1.html. A sheet with tips for parents and teachers is at http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/humandev/disas3.html. A sheet about the benefits of play as intervention for children experiencing stress is at http://www.ces.ncsu.edu/depts/fcs/humandev/disas4.html.

DeBord is a faculty member in the Department of Family and Consumer Sciences at NC State's College of Agriculture and Life Sciences.